Jesus and the Cigarette Machine

Maybe it was spiritual intuition but somehow I knew that there was something special about Jesus but not sure what. My grandma had this picture of Jesus in her living room and, I don’t know how but I simply knew He was special. At about the same time I was assembling an anti-monster kit (I was 14 j/k, 7) and realized that I needed something to protect myself in the event that I should encounter a vampire and so I told my mom that I needed a crucifix. Like any mom she told me I didn’t need to worry but I felt that its always better to be safe than sorry and so…we went to Sears (it was the Wal-Mart of its day). Afterwards I noticed crosses everywhere: necklaces, on top of buildings, etc but the most interesting one to me was at an Italian restaurant. In the lobby there was a cigarette machine and on the top of it was a “straight- out- of -a Florida -gift shop” crucifixion scene, complete with sea shells, and a man hanging on a Cross…Jesus. I asked mom, she explained, but I still didn’t understand why.
Years later, 20, I came home from a party and saw the exorcist on late night tv. It freaked me out and again, I went to mom. “Hey mom, I really don’t want my head to be spinning around like that girl…what should I do?” she gave me a copy of a book called “The Holy Spirit” by Billy Graham and it clicked. I felt sad and speechless that He really wanted to be with me that much, that he would go through all of that in my place. I understood, in my heart, that He was God and that I needed to place my faith in Jesus for forgiveness and not in my works. So, I did. I went into my bedroom, kneeled by my bed and asked Jesus to forgive me for all the things that I’d done wrong, to save me and to, like the thief on the cross, to remember me and to let me go to heaven. I remember feeling pure, different.
Today I had lunch w/someone who i thought was interested in getting to know me a little better but in reality they wanted me to get a movie script to my actor friend stevie b...i was a little disheartened but as we were leaving i saw an old school cigarette machine and it took me back to that Italian restaurant. Before seeing it i was remembering the let down it was in High School when the light bulb went on and i realized that a particular girl was becoming friends w/me soooo that she could get to know my best friend. I was hoping she was interested in me, but actually there was an ulterior motive to the friendship. Stuff like that still happens (ulterior motives for the friendship, lunch, etc andive been guilty of it too) but with God, as cheezy as it sounds, His interest really is in me...in you. Its genuine. No ulterior motive other than He wants to be with us. He's got the cross to prove it. Happy Easter Early.