You Dont Practice What You Preach...do you

I had just finished preaching and there were several people waiting up front to speak w/me. Out of the corner of my eye I saw my father making his way towards me. He tends to sit in the back and towards the exit. I guess he wants to be prepared to make an early exit – just in case. He was wading through a sea of about 350 or so people heading for the exit. Although I was having conversations with people I was simultaneously nervously watching as he was having a hard time making his way to the front…going against the flow of the whole church. He was determined and then he even cut line in front of a few people who were waiting to speak w/me.

He shook my hand (no hug-he was a career Navy man of 20 yrs), but shook my hand with a very firm grip, looked me in the eyes, and with mist, not quite tears, in his eyes, said, “I love you son.” Everything froze. There was all this commotion of people coming and going, conversations, volunteers getting ready for the next service, but For Dad and I time stood still. It choked me up some and I could barely get the words out, “I love you too dad”. He just stood there, looking me in the eyes, looking into each other's soul and then he turned and left. Simple. Mostly non-verbal communication. But it was a non-verbal that was shouting, singing. A few people were still there waiting to talk to me and we did. But as we talked I watched him all the way as he left the building, now fighting his way out as people were coming in for the next service.

I know that Christmas is still several months out but it sort of reminded me of Jesus coming to earth…for me personally. You see Deep Down inside I have always had some difficulty (not theologically but personally-know what I mean?) understanding that Jesus would die just for me, that he had me, Bobby Brewer on his mind at the cross. I’ve preached that before and ive even said it probably 500 times or so while giving gospel invitations…(you know the drill-“and even if you had been the only one person on the planet, Jesus would’ve come for you!) but it was something I had always believed in my head (theologically) and not in my heart…that He, Jesus, would make His way through a sea of people Just To Get to Me. Cut in line even. Would Jesus really die just for me? Don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with Jn 3:16. That’s easy, but would He really do it just for me? And now, only now, after close to 15 yrs of ministry did it genuinely go from my head to my heart that He went through the brutality of crucifixion to...get to me.
Know what I mean? Don’t get me wrong. I was born again when I was 20 realizing I was a sinner and in need of God’s forgiveness which only Jesus could offer. and indeed I was totally transformed but … but just for me?

I hope that the Holy Spirit, if He hasn’t already, will give you a head to heart experience like this too that Yes, just for you and there’s the Non-Verbal of the Cross to communicate it. Nate Hughes has a cool tradition. Once a year he watches the Passion. I’m going to start doing that too. And remember that, maybe it sounds a bit selfish, but yes, just for You.

I’m going to be Argentina again, then I have some stuff with Baldwin to do and then one other trip and so I will have to blog at you later…